Winters not Fun Joke Time

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Will-C

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Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool..

One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.

"Ah, England !" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England ?" asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

D.D.
 
The federal government has issued a travel warning due to the cold weather.


Anyone traveling in the current blizzard conditions should carry the following:- Shovel-
Blankets or sleeping bag-
Extra clothing, including hat and gloves-
24 hours' worth of food-
De-icer-
Rock salt-
Flashlight with spare batteries-
Road flares or reflective triangles-
Full spare gas can- First aid kit-
Booster cables
I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning

The unknown comic
 
I found this funny, though not exactly a winter joke.

My good buddy who lives in Northern Saskatchewan did the math a few years ago comparing staying warm at home or driving to Arizona for the winter. He figured out based on his travel style, it was cheaper to spend 5 months in Arizona. He locked up his house, set the thermostat on 50 and B-lined it to the desert.

I find it interesting that most "primitive" cultures prior to the industrial revolution migrated with the changing weather--further questioning my opinions of modern "progress"

I'm wrapping up finishing touches on operation winter escape 2 as I write this. :)
 
Presently, we are in Burundi, Africa, 3 degrees south of the equator. Here the temp is "equal" year-round. Last month, it was fairly comfortable...in the 80s most days. The past two weeks, most days, it has been about 90. It gets uncomfortable when the humidity also tops 90, which is most days, because it's the "rainy season."
 
The Super Bowl Seat


A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl.

As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty.

He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was
sitting there.

"No," the man replied, "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the first man.

"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl,
the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"

The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was
supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.

This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been together since we got
married in 1967."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find
someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the
seat?"

The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

The unknown comic
 
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