Thataway's 2015 Florida Key's trip on hold

T

thataway

Active member
Unfortunately, our planned trip to Knight's Key, Jan 14 thru March 25 2015 is on hold, and most likely canceled.

I have an aunt who is only a couple of years older than I am, but she had a fall about 12 days ago. I am the elder of the nephews and nieces who are her only relatives, so we went to Calif. earlier than planed. The situation is such that we are gong to spend at least 3 to 4 months in the Long Beach area. (Have to go home to pick up the RV, since sleeping on the floor of a friend's house is not the best options!) We are not only be caregivers and manage her situation, but have to clean and rehab two dwellings in the area.

Not all bad, since we are fairly near both my daughter and her family, and my son and his family. A bit less Christmas time with them, than anticipated, but a family member who has no-one else is more important.
We have a philosophy that our elderly should not spend their last days in a nursing home if at all possible. Both of our mothers lived with us during their last year or so.

Maybe next year at Marathon. Sorry to miss those who will be in the area.
 
Good luck Bob, my favorite wise saying is "Life is the series things that happen to us while we're busy making other plans".
I go to Minnesota for a week or two, 2 or 3 times a year to relieve my sister ,with whom my 97 yr old father lives, for the same reason. That type of philosophy is what keeps families strong.
 
Bob and Marie,

You're both good people. I have to admit that from the subject line I was immediately concerned about your health and was pleased to hear that wasn't the case. Take care and keep up the good work!
 
My sister looked after mom, eventually moved her into a lower floor apartment for several years, she died at 91. Wife and I had her mom in our shop apartment for years, and in lower floor unit for the last two years at 97. In both cases it got a little dicey toward the end, but none of us regretted so much as a day.

We are now looking forward to being in a condo, and exploring the Salish Sea in our new to us Bucket List. Enjoy your time in California and being closer to kids.
 
Bob and Marie,

Your aunt is very lucky to have the two of you looking after her. Have a safe drive to CA in the MH and enjoy the time with your family.

Happy Holidays,
K&L
 
Glad to hear you have family near by in this situation and helping as you can. I am touched by what you and others have said and am reminded of some of my own experiences.

Thank you and others for sharing and trying to do what is the right thing. This makes a difference and is a good example to me and others, though it is not easy.

Best wishes to you and all,

Tom and Rene
 
God bless you, Bob. Maybe we can have lunch together this winter.

Looking after an elderly relative is tough, but it has to be done. Judy's mom just passed away and she needed that. Our daughter in Redondo Beach is going through that with her mother-in-law. So it happens to a lot of us. I tell Judy and Dorth it's practice for me.

Boris
 
That's what it's all about folks. Way to lead Bob and Marie, we get to do a lot of what we want and then sometimes we need to just be there for others. God bless you and family. Merry Christmas. George and Carolyn
 
It is the best thing in the world to have caring people for those late and aged years of our loved ones. My sis did her best with our mother until, at age 98, her daily medical needs became too much and too complicated for my sis and required professionals to administer her meds until the end. (One month short of 100 years old). So good for you making that sacrifice.
 
Hi Bob we met at Apalachicola a couple of years ago, I was the guy in the weel chair.
We Brats admire your altrustic nature, you are alot of things combined into a very admirable person, I will mix a Margarita tonight and toast you.
 
Bob and Marie,

Sure glad it was not because of your health or accident. You are doing the right thing (as always) and setting a good example for the rest of us. As mentioned by others, It shows good character and family priorities. Be safe as you travel and enjoy the company of your kids as you can.

Harvey
SleepyC :moon

SunSet_MystryBay_SleepyC_2009_177.thumb.jpg
 
Hi Bob

Sorry to hear about your aunt, after caring for my mother and an aunt for the same reasons it is great that you can be there for her.

We live close by in Redondo Beach and have our C-Dory right there in San Pedro, after the holidays and after you get settled in we should go out for an afternoon on Far C'r. Would be great to meet you.
 
This is life and as Marty would say this is why I love this place! It is reassuring to know there is a group of good people out there that take care of others.

My mother was in a "religion" which I left when I was 21. She was then forced to shun and disown me. One of the greatest regrets in my life was not being "allowed" to take care of her in her last years.

They say the happiest people are those that are happy with what they have as opposed to those that always want more. I guess the same is true regarding are situation. We have to accept the curves life throws at us and enjoy instead of lamenting foiled plans.

Take care Bob and Marie - enjoy your new plans.
Regards, Rob
 
First I want to thank all of you for your concern, and love. I am also impressed by stories of others caring for their elderly or infirm relatives. We are blessed to have friends who have given up parts of their lives to help out their neighbors. One instance is the Pearl Harbor survivor (Jim) I have mentioned a few times in the past-- died about 2 weeks ago at home in his favorite easy chair at age 99. Our friends who lived next door (he is a retired Lt. Col) put much of their life on hold for that last 10 years so that "Jim" could continue to live at home and be happy. I saw Jim only a couple of weeks before he passed on, when his caring neighbors brought him to one of our local gatherings in a wheel chair.

I believe we are are made stronger and blessed for these kind of actions.

In our specific instance, I am happy to report that my aunt's mind is as sharp as can be found. I did psych testing and she scored 100% on standardized adult cognitive tests. (She reminded me that they had moved into their home--the one we will be working on--15 days after we moved into a house only 2 blocks away in the same subdivision, on a Thursday in 1969, because they were still living on their boat! (I had forgotten that!).
With a sharp mind, and an unbelievable desire to get back to her home, I think there is a chance--even though the other professionals caring for her disagree. I feel it is worth a shot. We are hoping to get her into a long term board and care, with a private room, run by a very loving couple now that Medicare has stopped. (Appeals are rigged, and rarely elderly are really given the rehab they need) That way she will not have the expense of a full time companion, or an assisted living/nursing home.

Hopefully our experiences will motivate others to do the same at some point in their lives. The husband (he is 84) of the couple we are currently staying with feels that 90% of ordinary people would give up, and put my Aunt in a long term nursing home. I have spent too much time caring for folks whose family have abandoned them, and know what long term abandonment brings…or even worse if Adult Protective Services gets ahold of the elderly person. In our case, Adult protective Services was called by the Seal Beach Police. We have fended them off, but they can still demand (and get) a court order to inspect my Aunt's home.

Thanks to those who sent PM offering help with driving the RV, others offered homes and other help in the area. We will meet up with those C Brats in the area and enjoy time with them, once we have things all settled.
I'll probably not post as much, since computer time is limited by my lack of endurance (I Collapse each evening after a glass of wine, and then wake up at 4 AM --still on Pensacola time I guess!) Our days have been full--but did take my grandchildren to a Cross country award's banquet on Thursday night. (You are lucky to even see teenager grandchildren these days!) However we were also "baby sitting" them while my daughter and husband were hosting his company's annual Christmas Party. The "Drill Sargent" (ok, Major) did the lights out--and Reveille, since Friday was still a school day.

Any one want some old boating books--like Chapmans from the 50's 60's and 70's. Probably a lot of old power squadron stuff--and a lot of old boating parts, when I can get past the two old Cadillac Biarritz in the garage. (My aunt had totaled a new Ford Focus, and was driving a 69 Cadillac Biarritz "boat"….not too well as reported as by the neighbors…)

Again, thanks to all, and I will occasionally report my experiences dealing with "officials", and insurance etc..issues which might be of general interest.
 
All the best to you for doing all that you can to help your elderly relative. When and if the time comes that it's obviously in everybody's best interest for others to take over her activities of daily living, her treatment regime and her physical safety,find solice in your efforts and your continuing to provide what only you can, your love.
 
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