One thing you must remember when using some of the small SUV's is that they are a car chassis, monocoque build: " The Highlander is the crossover counterpart to the more rugged, truck-based midsize 4Runner" I believe that the Highlander is on a Camry platform. (I did tow some short distances with the Honda Pilot, which is a crossover platform, my first C Dory 22, which was kept very light when towing on a tandem axle trailer. The pilot at that time was rated 3500 for house trailer, and 4500 for a boat. I suspect that the boat higher rating was more for air resistance than weight itself.
This puts the whole hitch in a different light than a truck type SUV, which attaches the hitch to the frame rails, with a much stiffer chassis.
I was not using a WD hitch when towing the C Dory 22 on a single axle trailer, where the tongue pole folded due to harmonic resonance of the road/trailer, and the comparative stiffness of the air ride stabilized motor home. (RV did not flex/bounce as the trailer did.) Much of the time we have towed with the Truck frame SUV.
Colby mentioned towing with the bow strap loose. I can not think of a single reason or situation where this would be wise. You want that strap as tight as possible, the bow of the boat against the stop, and a chain, (best with a turnbuckle) to the trailer frame, usually the tongue pole.
It is the truck framed SUV's which recommend using the WD hitch at the high end of their towing capacity. Many pickups and large SUV's have the decal on the bumper stating that over XXXX lbs a WD hitch should be used.