Historically, each generation thinks the next generation coming up is less civil, less productive, and less respectful. I have concerns that we are now seeing the children of the television/video/internet eras come of age. Observations in just the past few weeks while visiting our daughter in Phoenix:
* People meet in restaurants and immediately start texting someone rather than have conversation with others at the table.
* People come into a movie theater, plop down, and put their feet up on the seats in front of them. And talk through the whole movie.
* I hold doors for people - it's how I was raised. I don't expect a tip, but a "thank you" would be nice. I'm speaking of when you walk into a store or restaurant and there is someone right behind you. Less than half the time does anyone acknowledge the courtesy. And more and more often, others right in front of you just let the door go in your face.
* In grocery stores or Wal-Mart type stores where shopping carts are prevalent, people block aisles with carts or don't look as they come out of an aisle. Not as tragic as a traffic accident, but just an example of people being oblivious to others around them.
* We've driven a lot of miles since we retired. Well, we drove a lot of miles before we retired... but, it seems that people are increasingly aggressive in their driving. Prior to 5 years ago, I don't remember being passed on the right (on the shoulder!), or having people cut across 4 lanes of traffic to get in front of you and make the exit ramp.
* Kids are allowed to run, roam, and scream in stores, restaurants... well, most public places. They pull stuff off shelves in stores and let things lay - and the parents don't tell them no or pick up the stuff.
Kids who are allowed to roam/scream/bother others with no parental guidance grow up to be adults who think they are entitled to do the same things. I think kids should be allowed to be kids... and there are playgrounds for running and screaming. But not in the middle of a store or a restaurant. Instead of smoking and non-smoking areas, I think there should be "screaming and non-screaming areas." I've come to appreciate the quiet in RV parks and communities that are 55+.
I don't think I've become an old grouch or even a curmudgeon... but I miss the civility of the past. We used to have a sign in our studio that read: "Well-behaved children are welcome here. Parents, please control your children." We had a lot of expensive portraits and art prints, not to mention equipment, accessible for our clients. Sample albums could easily have $1,000 worth of images in them... "Please handle that carefully, or Mommy will be buying that," generally brought about more careful handling (or at least a parental watchful eye). :wink:
In the age of videos in the home, internet, and endless texting, there is less personal interaction between people. Kids don't "date" like we used to, they don't learn social skills... or even intelligent conversation. "She goes..." instead of "she said", "Me and her" instead of "She and I" (just another example of people putting themselves first). People who wouldn't think of standing up in the corner pub and screaming their political views or belittling someone have no problem doing just that on an internet forum, with the anonymity provided by the keyboard and computer screen.
When you see life "portrayed" on TV (movies, internet, video games, etc) where civility isn't important, and are exposed to that over and over during your formative years, it's easy to believe that that's the way it should be.
Yeah, I miss civility. I find myself avoiding crowds or situations where you just know there will be incivility. You can't teach someone who doesn't want to learn. It used to be that one needed manners and civility to date (one of the best incentives), but that seems to be less important now.
Our daughter (a teacher, working with adolescents) used to think we were "strict" when she was growing up. She now thanks us for the guidance we gave her and tries to help her kids not just learn the required stuff, but to become better people, able to fit in and excel. She does not put up with incivility in the classroom. Visiting their school is a real breath of fresh air compared to walking through a mall.
Whew! I sure hope that didn't come off as a rant or anything remotely political. I like people; engaging conversation is a delight. It doesn't have to be with someone who mirrors my views. Civility may not be prevalent, but it is alive. Imagine how good it could be with a bit of nurturing.
Best wishes for a great new year,
Jim B.
