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Bran Muffins
The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?," grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked a round and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?," he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out

at?"

"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"
 
Politically Correct Admiral Nelson at Trafalgar


Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"
Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?"
Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working nvironments."
Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."
Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It’s part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."
Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it ........... full speed ahead."
Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."
Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must dvance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please."
Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."
Nelson: "What?"
Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."
Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."
Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."
Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."
Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."
Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"
Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
Nelson: "We're not?"
Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."
Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."
Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."
Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"
Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"
Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."
Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."
Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy."
 
Ggood One


Man: Where have you been all my life?
>Woman: Hiding from you.

>Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
>Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

>Man: Is this seat empty?
>Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

>Man: Your place or mine?
>Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

>Man: So, what do you do for a living?
>Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

>Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
>Woman: Do not enter.

>Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
>Woman: Unfertilized.

>Man: Your body is like a temple.
>Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

>Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
>Woman: But would you stay there?

>Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
>Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

>Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
>Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
 
Bulwer-Lytton winners:


For those of you who do not know, Bulwer-Lytton wrote "The Last Days of Pompeii," which opens with the famous line, "It was a dark and stormy night." Hence the contest title.


These are the ten winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton contest (run by the English Dept of San Jose State University), wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel.


10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber he would never hear the end of it."


9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."


8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."


7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep -- Andre creep -- Andre creep.'"


6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."


5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."


4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."


3) "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."


2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the
meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies.


And, the winner:

1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, and screaming madly, "You lied!'"
 
A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor.
After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him what happened.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded,
'What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, has four grown children and
seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?'

The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking up, asked, 'Does she still have the hiccups ?'
 
>Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of inanimate
> >objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you
> >can see right through them.
> >
> >
> >
> >PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a
> >while to warm them up again.
> >
> >They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are
> >pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
> >
> >
> >
> >TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over
> >inflated.
> >
> >
> >
> >HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
> >anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
> >
> >
> >
> >SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain
> >water.
> >
> >
> >
> >WEB PAGES:
> >Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently
> >getting hit on.
> >
> >
> >
> >TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for
> >picking up people.
> >
> >
> >
> >EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight
> >shifts to the bottom.
> >
> >
> >
> >HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at
> >all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
> >
> >
> >
> >THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male,
> >but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without
> >it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just
> >keeps trying
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
 
Why Men Have Better Friends

Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew about it.

Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
 
A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout, "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"
All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted.

"Ok," he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"
 
Sneaks":98cfvspw said:
Jesus was at a disco, but having trouble dancing, so he says, "Help! I've risen and I can't get down!"
Click to expand...

He may not be able to dance, but, after all these years, he's still got a sense of humor, thank God.
 
California Department of Motor Vehicles: Celebrity Driving Test

1. A group of shouting pedestrians crosses in front of your vehicle, carrying what appear to be cameras and tape recorders. You should:


Stop. Pedestrians have the right of way.
Stop. Hide face behind sun visor.
Stop. Remove baby from lap, place in properly secured child seat.
Speed up: "Paparazzi" is Italian for "roadkill."
2. In an automobile with a manual transmission, the "clutch" is the:


Pedal on the right
Pedal on the left
Prada bag in left hand
Bold play for sex
3. Before leaving a hot club, a safe driver must consider whether he/she is intoxicated. Based on the full range of female body weights in "the industry," match the alcoholic beverages consumed per hour
with the weight
that would cause legal intoxication, public flashing, unfortunate hairstyles, or hospitalization for "exhaustion."

Drinks per Hour Body Weight
1 86 pounds
.1 88 pounds
.01 93 pounds
.001 95 pounds
.0001 97 pounds


4. A police officer signals you to pull over. Upon reaching the shoulder, you should:


Call publicist
Remove registration from glove compartment
Remove drugs from glove compartment, stash in underwear
Underwear?
5. To drive safely in heavy fog in the canyons, you should use:


Fog lights only
High beams
Low beams
video iPod
6. Four vehicles arrive simultaneously at red-carpeted intersection, as Officer Seacrest directs traffic. Which has the right of way to hog the camera?


Black limousine
Toyota Prius
Ferrari Enzo
Kia DiCaprio
7. Your vehicle is stopped on suspicion of drunken driving. A police officer requests a breathalyzer exam. Hoping to salvage career and reputation, you:


Remind police of large personal contributions to their salaries.
Describe noteworthy physical attributes of female officers.
Reveal existence of massive Jewish conspiracy.
Flash famous grin
All of the above
8. For each vehicle operator
, match correct number of license suspensions
that will result in meaningful jail time:

Operator # of Suspensions

Platinum blond heiress 27
Brunette check-out girl 2
Gangsta rapper 6
All-American Quarterback xx3


True/False

9. Britney couldn't find her car's ignition with a flashlight and a search party. T/F

10. It is illegal to operate or be seen in a motor vehicle worth less than $100,000. T/F

Fill-in Section:

11. Based on DMV statistics, the average speed at which a Lamborghini will strike a lamppost is _____.

12. On average, an owner will travel _____ miles from the dealership before his new Lamborghini strikes a lamppost.

13. ____, the distance a Lamborghini owner will cover on foot, prior to apprehension for lamppost violations.

Special Section (to be completed by professional athletes ONLY):

14. In a motor vehicle with belted positions for five occupants, the correct number of handguns is ____.

15. Traveling west on Wilshire Blvd. at 35 mph, you signal for a right turn on La Cienega. Slowing for an ambulance, you proceed east on Sunset Boulevard. Checking all mirrors, you merge onto the Hollywood Freeway, exit and proceed north on Coldwater Canyon before executing a perfect parallel-park. Along the route described, there are precisely ____ strip clubs.

16. Essay Question: Why are hockey players such lousy drivers? Would they be better off driving on ice?

Extra Credit:

17. Correctly identify the worst celebrity driver in U.S. history:


James Brown
Lindsay Lohan
Sen. Edward "Ted" Kennedy
Billy Joel
Juan Pablo Montoya


( by Lawrence Ulrich)​
 
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Keep reading-they get better!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
And still be afraid of a spider.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
To get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
And some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... So does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
Neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
The husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
Should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and
You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says "HEBREWS"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
And were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
At 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn' t wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
A man was on the water for his weekly fishing trip. He began his day with
an 8-pound bass on the first cast and a 7-pounder on the second. On the
third cast he had just caught his first ever bass over 11 pounds when his
cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible
accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The man told the
doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as
possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to
be his best day ever on the water.

He decided to get in a couple of more casts before heading to the
hospital. Before he knew it, he'd ended up fishing the rest of the
morning, finishing his trip with a stringer like he'd never seen, with

4 bass over 10 pounds. He was jubilant.

Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty, he dashed to the hospital.
He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your
fishing trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were
out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the pond, your wife has
been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished,
because it will be more than likely the last fishing trip you ever take!"

For the rest of her life she will require YOUR 'round the clock care!

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

The doctor then chuckled and said, "I'm just pulling your leg.

She's dead. What'd you catch?"
 
A guy is caught by a ranger eating a bald eagle and is consequently put
in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went
something like this:

Judge: "Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?"

Man: "Yes I did. But if you let me argue my case, I'll explain what
happened."

Judge: "Proceed."

Man: "I got lost in the woods. I hadn't had anything to eat for two
weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down
at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could
maybe steal the fish. Unfortunately, in the process of taking the fish
I killed the Eagle. I figured that since I killed the Eagle I might as
well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the
ground."

Judge: "The court will take a recess while we analyze your testimony."

15 minutes goes by and the judge returns.

Judge: "Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you
didn't intend to kill the Eagle, the court will dismiss the charges.
But if you don't mind the court asking, what does a Bald Eagle taste
like?"

Man: "Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe
it is maybe a combination between a California Condor and a Spotted
Owl."
 
Boarding the Bus -

One day a large group of people were waiting for the bus at a local Greyhound station. At the front of the line was a very attractive woman dressed in a black business vest, white blouse, leather miniskirt and high heels. As the bus pulled up and opened the door, she tried to board but found that her skirt was too tight to raise her leg to the required height.

Looking around and thinking quickly, she reaches behind her and unzips the zipper on the back of her skirt a little and tries again. Still, she can’t maneuver the step, so once again she reaches behind her and unzips her skirt a little more. With a smile she looks at the bus driver and tries to board again. With disappointment, she finds she still can’t step that high and so with exasperation and a sigh she unzips her skirt the rest of the way down.

To her amazement, her leg still will not reach the bottom step. Finally, a very large Texan behind her gently grabs her by the waist, lifts her up and places her on the bus. The woman turns to the Texan furiously and says, “Who do you think you are to touch my body in that way? I don’t even know you!” Nonplused, the Texan looks down at her and replies, “Well, Ma’am, after you unzipped my fly, I thought we were pretty good friends!”
________
Dave dlt.gif
 
The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!"

The man asks the kids what he's dressed up like for Halloween.

The kid says, "I'm an IRS agent."

Then he takes 28% of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't even say Thank You.
 
King Arthur and the Witch
---------------------------


Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.


The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.


He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princes, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.


Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.


The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.


The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!


Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.


He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.


He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.


Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:


What a woman really wants, she answered...is to be in charge of her own life.


Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.


And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.


The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened


The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.


Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?


Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?


What would YOU do?


What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?













Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.


Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.


Now....what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down



















The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly.
 
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