CatyMae friends

[jpierce@credityes.com]

To all of you that had such nice things to say about my mother...I thank you. I put off reading these emails that Pop's (Steve) had printed off because I knew it would be too much for me to handle...and it was. I have cried all the way through them(pages and pages). Everyone had such kind things to say about my mother...she will be missed...she was very close to me and I'm not sure when I will get used to the idea that she is in better place and not here with us anymore...it's just not fair. My mother was the strongest person I know...too sudden and of course she made this whole cancer thing seem like no big deal...just another bump in the road. I intentionally did not research any of it and just listened to what she said "It aint gonna beat me!" Today was the 1st day i didn't wake up and cry and did not go to bed last night crying so for some stupid reason I thought I was ready to read the emails...NOT. I just wanted to get on here and thank you all for your kind words. Steve, my brother and I are coping day to day...I have been telling people all my life that "with time, all wounds heal". In time Pops says it's true....we will see...............god i miss her

 

[johnf]

Jamohl,

Only met your mom a few times and was able to visit with her and Steve at the April Cathlamet gathering where we had some great laughs. Just absolutely wonderful people to be around and she had the most wonderful nature about her.

Struggling with what to say here but just wanted you to know how much of an impression she made on me. Truly wishing you the best in this difficult time...hope you are able to look back on the good memories with happiness!

Kind Regards & Condolences,

John

 

[iggy]

Jamohl -

Thanks for touching bases with the C-Brats -- it's very nice to 'close the loop' and hear back from you.

For those of us who have been there, I can provide a little information as to how we worked through this challenging experience. First, as painful as it is, we all realize that death is a part of living -- that certainly doesn't make it any easier, but it helps put it in perspective a little.

As most of us would do, you waited a 'little while' to read the e-mails, hoping you would be able to 'handle it better'. And as all of us now realize, there was no way you, or anyone, was going to handle this 'any better' than you did. The way you 'handle it' is the way that is right for you, as the process unfolds.

It is most important to give yourself lots of space to feel whatever you're feeling, whenever you feel it. And these feelings will just appear out of nowhere when you least expect them . . . When my father-in-law died several years ago, we were leaving Seattle to drive home to Portland, and stopped in at Starbucks to get coffee to take with us. The very nice barista asked Janet "How is your day going so far?", and she just burst out crying -- not what the barista was expecting! She explained the reason, and he was very sympathetic -- in fact, I believe he gave her the coffee as a gift! The point is, this happens to almost everyone -- at the grocery store -- at work -- sitting in a familiar restaurant -- driving home from work -- even after several months when you think you're getting past it a little.

Also, this is commonly known, but there is something about 'one full year' -- every holiday, anniversary, birthday, Mother's Day, special personal days and milestones -- every one of them will bring these feelings (and new ones) to the surface. It is helpful to recognize the good side of these difficult times -- the reason they are difficult is that they were, and are, and always will be. special times, and you miss them dearly.

I'm not trying to set myself up as the world's expert on any of this, but these feelings still come to the surface when I think of my dad (R.I.P. 1985) and Janet's dad (R.I.P. 2004).

I only knew Katie briefly, but it's amazing how far one person can influence others, isn't it? -- And in most cases without even realizing it. Katie was a prime example.

Make space. Breathe! Go for walks. Turn off the tv (and/or notice that you haven't been paying attention for the past 45 minutes . . . )

Take care, and God Bless

Ed

 

[Les Lampman]

Jamohl,

It's easy to see you carry the spirit of your mother. We all grieve for your loss and can but offer our support and best wishes for fond memories to ultimately replace the bitter pain.

 

[hardee]

Jamohl,

My Dad passed away 8 years ago, my Mom 4 months ago. My dad was totally unexpected, my Mom passed away after a prolonged illness and it was eminently expected. Still, neither is easy, and both are missed to this day. You will miss your Mom, and that is OK, the memories will still be there, and the the better they are the longer they last. Giving yourself time to heal, looking forward does not mean you have to forget, but that you accept and plan for your future. Katie Mae was a special lady, and we lover her participation here, and if it was like the rest of her life she was a wonderful, warm and witty person with great insight. She would want you to go on with a full and meaningful life. You are welcome to come meet here with her friends anytime I'm sure. :hug :hug2 :rose :rose :rose

With prayers for Peace and Comfort,

Harvey & Deena
SleepyC :moon