Robert-
Great topic, and one that we haven't dealt much with directly!
I think the answer to how important the shower and what type of head facility you need depends a lot on who's in the boat, where you boat, and several other factors.
1. Women need a private head, some much more than others. Some will go so far as to write the extra $25k check for a "two-foot-its" attack to get the upgraded facilities of a larger boat. Same for the shower. There are others who are not so embarrassed and private about these functions. Buy them a 5 gallon bucket, a snap-on comfort ring at West Marine, some garbage bags, and give 'em a great big kisss!!! REAL MEN are not tied to the bathroom issue so intimately, of course.
2. Where you boat makes a great deal of difference. I'm on an inland lake with a covered berth, toilets, showers, and additional floating toilets and campgrounds spaced about every three miles all around the lake. Why carry a porta-potti? I have one that's 18 years old and never been used and is stored up in the top of the RV Barn out back. The hollow under the v-berth is a great additional storage area! More fishing gear? Generator? Clothes? Wine cellar?
3. Showers are not a problem when the freshwater lake is 70-80 degrees, but cold salt water is not much fun. How many days will you be out on cruise w/o freshwater shower access?
4. A 5 or 6 gallon hot water heater doesn't provide much water to do anything more than a "Navy Shower", and deplets your limited fresh water supply significantly. I don't even like to use the shower in my motorhome for the same reason (and it has over twice the water of the CD) unless we have hook-ups, in which case we have campground showers available.
5. There's a big difference between a boat shower which is usually combined with a head, and the Jacuzzi and shower/tub facilities in your room at the Hilton. Plus you have to do the clean up.
6. If you have window privacy screens, limo tint side windows, or a private location, you can heat water on the stove and take a sponge bath that is just about as good as the shower in the miniature broom closet with the toilet thingee on the floor. Comparatively, the clean up between the two is a "wash". (My personal opinion, of course.)
7. I learned from a Coast Guard friend of mine about how to avoid the Porta-Potti drill: (most people don't relish the clean out routine, of course)
Each person who feels nature's calling uses the Potti by lining the vessel with a plastic garbage bag. After Mother Nature has had her way, tie up the bag, double bag it, and drop it in another bag to be carried ashore and disposed of at the first available opportunity. Sounds a bit unpleasant at first, but is less crude, rude, and construed than cleaning the Porta-Pooper!!!
8. Check out the "Airhead" composting toilet that Pat and Patty Anderson have on Daydream. There's a preliminary evaluation on the Desolation Sound thread from yesterday. Sounds promising so far!
9. Last Bit of Advice: If your wife is a "SENSITIVE" type, you can either leave her at home, buy the Nordic "Tub" 37, or buy an old Bayliner, strip it out, and add a generator, a giant mirror with make up lights, a big water tank and heater, a 5 gallon per flush head, a Jacuzzi, shower, and suntan booth, and cosmetics inventory. Don't forget to paint it PINK with RED trim. Write "Because You Deserve It" (Lorreal) on the side, then tow it out beyond the 12 mile limit and leave them there. Now go get yourself a realistic woman that is probably more fun anyway!!!
10. More ideas?
Joe.